Resolveless in 2010

I'm talking about New Year's Resolutions. Not doing it this year. Last year I made one Resolution only; I was going to knit for myself and Mr. Chirpchatty (the hoosband if you are new to this blog) and no one else. Since that Rez I have knit for everyone under the sun but us. I actually love knitting for other people - just not under any tight deadline. The one thing I tried to knit for us was wrist warmers. Mr. C squirmed embarrassedly as he told me he "didn't really wear that kind of thing." So they are new but now also for someone else. And mine? In spite of making a zillion of these over the years - ever since I took a class from the wonderful Arnhild Hillesland at Stitches a slew of years ago, this pair was way too loose Lautrec and need to be given away or re-knit. I didn't remember this yarn from stash as being superwash (Parfait Swirls from K1C2) so I beat the pair up pretty good in the kitchen sink repeatedly with Dawn dish washing liquid, hoping to shrink them to size - but - no cigar. Sheesh. Maybe I'll just keep Mr. C's - at least his are done right - oh wait....too big.

There are a lot of basic patterns out there for this type. I start with a provisional cast-on, knit to what feels the half-way point, do a one row buttonhole (except the one time on those loose guys above), and finish off with Russian grafting. 3-needle bind off is an easier way to finish them off but the bump is a little noticeable unless you use a needle 1 to 2 sizes smaller for the binding off.

Without making any January 1 resolutions last year, I've done two things I thought I could never accomplish again - the first is that I've grown my hair out long enough to wear in a ponytail (and eventually to braid). These pictures are by DF Rebecca of me modeling her "Sleeves in Your Pi" shawl for Betty Roberts. Have you SEEN the Twins projects page on Ravelry? Check them out!



I still can't quite believe this has happened. What's more, it hasn't been a struggle. The benefits of longer hair - even tho I'll soon be 60 and officially a Geezer Babe - are that I'll never have to try to find a hairdresser who understands my pointy head again - I'm in control. If/when we go back to India, I can wear it comfortably off my neck and more in keeping with local custom. While I'll always be a Caucasian (no, really?), I find that there is more warmth and respect from local people when you attempt to dress modestly and locally and fit in. Southern India is more conservative than the North (hair worn unbraided and loose equals loose woman), and so far we always end up in the South. Women either wear traditional Sari or Salwar Kameez. There's a lot on the 'Net these days about modern Indian fashion, but unless you are in one of the big cities, these are the garments and the hair is worn pulled back and usually in a long braid, often decorated with fresh flowers like jasmine.

And....I've lost 75 pounds (and hope to lose 15 to 30 more). A "before" shot with my lovely young friend Reed Danielle.




You can see there's definitely a way to go yet. The benefits of weight loss to someone getting older are incalculable and NONE of them are what I cared about when I was younger. The beauty parade is over. Gravity has already had its wicked way with me, as I can see - now that my original shape is coming out from under its layers. Wrinkles and sags are the new me - not to be eradicated by weight loss or exercise. Fat actually makes you look a lot younger at my age because it plumps everything out. I remember a woman giving a speech at an Overeaters Anonymous convention years ago, who said "Face it, after years of abusing ourselves with up and down weight loss, the best we can hope for is to look good with clothes on!" So true! But that's not a bad thing at this age from my perspective. Who else but Mr. C and the ladies down at the Senior Water Aerobics class are going to see me unclothed anyway?

But on to the benefits, if they can be phrased in a non-tacky way. I can now "get down" because I can get back up! If I fall or intentionally get down on the floor, I can easily get back up without grabbing onto furniture to drag myself upright or have a friend help me. My knees don't shriek if I have to get down on them for a few minutes. In fact there actually were real knees under there all along! I realized how many of my friends around my age could not get up if they fell and what a frightening thing that is when you are getting older.

I can do my own nail trimming in the lower regions, I can reach all parts of myself from any angle when performing basic bodily tasks - these small things are really big. I no longer think about the fact that the item I need means going up stairs, or that I have to walk 2-3 blocks to get somewhere. I don't struggle to find the closest possible parking place. It's all good! How did I do it? I'm lucky in a way that I have to cut out things I'm addicted to in a big way and NEVER eat them. That includes (but is not limited to) any type of refined sugar and all gluten products (wheat, oats, barley, rye) in any form. If you think about what that includes - it's just about every processed food and snack. The lucky part is, if you don't eat it, you don't crave or miss it. If you try a "little bit" now and then - the craving never goes away and hence the struggle. I'm not saying this is for everyone. But it works for me and gives me freedom from re-deciding what I'm going to eat all the time, and especially when I reach whatever will be my goal weight. It really is a way of life. I've done it before, and it's always worked until I decided I could try a little something once in a while and that I had plenty of time to get a grip again. I have no illusions that I'm not a weight recidivist in life, but my reasons for doing it all are the right ones this time so I proceed with high hopes.

Also this year, I found medications for depression that are working....finally! After six years of trying something like 18-20 meds with a specialist, it's been a long difficult road. For anyone out there that feels desperate about chronic depression - even if it has come to you late in life - do NOT give up! It's always worth it to continue to try and have a better life, even if it seems like it may never happen. Try to remember George Burns' joke, "Every day above ground is good!" What I thought should be big far-reaching goals about career (when I had one), money, accomplishments, etc. have turned out to be much less important. Growing old in a healthy way, able to function physically and mentally into my 80's, being a better wife, accepting myself as I am, able to be kind and compassionate to those I care about - these are the things that matter to me now. Some have come just because I'm older and the time for some things has passed. Others have been revealed only as I was willing to let go of old ideas about the way things had to be.

So at the end of this year I find myself extremely thankful for what I've accomplished in spite of not having set out to, for having a loving husband (who has survived those six years and 20 more) and doggie, for being solvent when so many are not, for a Mother that I love and who is an inspiration in her late 80's, and for having a wonderful wonderful group of women friends who are a constant source of love and inspiration, both in the examples of their lives and their creativity and willingness to share all. Y'all know who you are. If you don't (you sillies) the next time I see you, you'll be getting a big scrunchy hug - that's a clue!

I've actually updated my Ravelry page. I am "Dims" on Ravelry. For those who wonder what the "heck" Ravelry is - you have to join this on-line knitting/crocheting and more community and database to view people's projects. It's free, it's easy, and if you're a knitter or crocheter, go there now and sign up!!!

This wraps up the embarrassing self-disclosure bit so posts will be back to knitting and humorous life-as-it-comes after this.